I can only see your face
by safcooper
Summary: This is set after the S15 ep 'Only You' and in fact was written not long after it aired. It's what I thought should happen to resolve the stalker storyline, and having seen the actual conclusion I don't think mine is too weird!
1. Part One

I can only see your face part 1

I Can Only See Your Face

Part One

Disclaimer: I don't own them, the BBC does, I just play with them and put them back! 

I wrote this rather a long time ago, before the end of series 15 and the resolution of the stalker storyline. It's set after the episode 'Only You' where Holly finds out it's Tom who was stalking her. 

 Holly awoke suddenly from her nightmare and tried to catch her breath. In her dream she had been running away from Tom, but no matter how fast she ran he was always there right behind her. He was never exhausted like she was, he never broke a sweat, and as hard as she tried she couldn't get away.

She sat up in her bed, moved so her back was braced up against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest. Although she knew it was impossible, she still felt like she was being watched, and the silence of her flat was imposing, stifling even. She smoothed her hair back off her face, the palms of her hands clammy against her forehead. 

It had been weeks since she'd managed a full nights sleep, and she longed for the day when her life was back to normal, when she could forget the hell Tom had put her through. He had been arrested, of course, and there was no way he could get at her again but still the thought of him having been there, in her house, in her private things made her feel sick. The rational part of her told her she was safe now and that Tom no longer had any control over her life but she took little comfort in that. He had been a friend, she'd trusted him, she'd _liked_ him and that made it so much harder to take in. She obviously couldn't trust her own judgement anymore, she thought she knew the people that she worked with, but it seemed she was wrong.

Her duvet lay at the foot of her bed where she'd kicked off during her sleep. She crawled across her mattress and dragged it back over her, cocooning herself in it as if it could protect her from the evils of the world. 

__

There's nobody here; I'm perfectly safe.

There's nobody here; I'm perfectly safe. She repeated over and over until she nearly believed it. Eventually her tiredness took over and she fell into another fitful sleep.

"Every step you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you" blared out Holly's radio alarm, she struck out at it, still half asleep, and silenced Sting.

"I used to think that song was romantic" she muttered to herself as she rolled off her bed and into the bathroom. She hung her head over the basin and splashed cold water onto her face. It woke up every pore and sent a shiver down her back, she grabbed a towel off the handrail and patted the excess water away. As she moved the towel away from her face, she saw herself properly in the mirror for the first time that morning. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot, her face was pale, and she looked and felt completely exhausted.

"I hope you look better by the time I go back to work" she admonished her reflection, "or we'll be scaring away the patients!"

Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. Holly padded out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. The persistent noise of the bell still made her feel uneasy.

"Hello?"

"Holly. It's Dan, hope I didn't wake you."

"No I was up already, what do you want?" she didn't mean it to sound harsh, but it was too early and she was too tired for polite small talk. 

"Just wanted to know that you're alright, that you're starting to feel better… That's all, sorry to have bothered you." She couldn't make out if she detected a note of hurt in his voice or not.

"Yeah, I'm OK Dan, I appreciate you calling." Holly didn't particularly want to go into the details of how she felt, not now, not over the telephone, and not with Dan.

"Oh, good. Well I'll see you back at work soon then, yeah?"

"Yeah, bye then" she put the phone down before he had a chance to respond and sunk into a chair. It was nice of Dan to call, it was more than Patrick had done and she'd always considered herself much closer to him. She did so desperately want to explain to someone how she felt, but maybe it was all too soon. The thought of dozens of people checking up on her all the time made her feel claustrophobic. She could imagine everyone gossiping about her back at work, when she just wanted to forget and put the whole terrible experience behind her. She hated feeling like a victim.

Holly contemplated getting dressed but she wasn't due back at work, in fact, she wasn't due to do anything, so instead she decided to have a bath. She slipped into the warm water and let her tensions start to melt away, closing her eyes and trying to remember a time when she as happy and carefree. However, the only image that surfaced was of how Tom had decorated her bathroom with dozens of red candles and rose petals. She remembered vividly the scent of the candles as they smouldered and the perfume of the roses. As she lay there, naked and vulnerable she began to convince her self that she still could smell the flowers. That Tom was watching her from outside the window, that Tom was watching her from inside the doorway.

She opened her eyes and sprung upright sending her bath water cascading onto the floor, her breathing was heavy and erratic and tears of panic rolled down her cheeks and mingled with the soapy water. It took all her strength and willpower to calm her self and dry her self off. Holly sat on the edge of the bathtub in her robe and surveyed the room. It didn't feel like home anymore. She didn't feel safe in her own flat, and it was all Tom's fault.

She thought back to that night at his apartment, it had all started so well. After the stress of the day, she had begun to feel comfortable and even happy again. She had felt relaxed in Tom's company; he seemed to be saying all the right things to make her feel at ease. Of course looking back, she could see the signs. Why hadn't she been able to see them at the time? Tom had seemed a perfectly ordinary person, the sort of man that she might even have been interested in. She shuddered involuntarily at the thought. He had had her trapped, he could have done anything, and if Dan hadn't showed up he probably would have.

Dan, she'd actually started to believe that he was her stalker, she'd been certain of it. All the time he'd been trying to help her, to save her and she'd been wishing he would leave her alone. Tom could have killed him, the police found enough anaesthetic in Tom's fridge to bring down an elephant, and that was without Tom getting violent. Holly knew she'd never be able to repay Dan and she'd never be able to forgive herself for him getting injured. It was all such a mess.

How could Tom say in one breath that he loved her and in the next try to attack her? How could he have flipped like that? What had she done to make him behave like such a maniac?

She thought back to every thing that he'd said that night, particularly when he'd taken her out on the balcony. She could almost feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a psycho. He'd cut himself off from the rest of the world in his immaculate flat high above Holby and before that night, even though she would have counted him as a friend, she realised that she knew next to nothing about him. He didn't have any real friends; he never let anyone get close enough. He had engineered his life so that he was alone and then found that he wanted a companion and fixated him self on Holly. It was sad, in all senses of the word.

Holly looked down at her hands, disgusted with her self. How could she even begin to sympathise with the man who'd gone to such extreme lengths to ruin her life?

__

Why me? Holly thought bitterly, _what did I do to deserve this?_

Her mind flashed back again to that miserable night, to what he'd said to her once she'd discovered his dark secret;

"_It doesn't matter how much someone loves you does it? You still want everyone running around…Me, Patrick, Dan, you've had all three of us on a string haven't you?… You're just a tease!" _

Those words had stung her; she'd never led any of them on. She'd only ever considered Tom and Dan as friends and Patrick, well, Patrick; he was just a friend too. 

The night that Tom had talked about, when she'd invited him to that club; she'd invited him as a mate. It wasn't as if they went there together, there was a whole group, Chloe, Barney, Colette, half the department had gone; how could he get the wrong idea from that?

There were so many questions that she needed answers to, questions that she couldn't get out of her mind. Moreover, while she sat around thinking about him about what he'd done to her, he still had control over her. She was still his victim. She needed to understand why it had started; she needed to know that it was over.

She knew that Tom had been taken to St Thomas's and the more that she thought about it the more she felt she had to see him. She moved back into her bedroom and got dressed, unable to stop thinking about Tom. As she was about to leave the flat the phone began to ring again; Holly looked over at it. She wasn't in the mood for someone else prying into her life. Not now she had made up her mind about what to do next. She closed her front door behind her leaving it ringing.

Disappointed and a little concerned that Holly wasn't answering Patrick put the receiver back and stepped away from the phone. He contemplated going round to her place to see if everything was all right, but surely she was a big girl now and if she wanted him there she'd ask. The last thing he wanted was to be accused of interfering. 

End of Part One


	2. Part Two

I can only see your face part 2 

Part Two

The drive to St Thomas's seemed to take forever and all the way Holly fought a battle with herself, over whether or not she should continue or turn back. Every rational fibre in her body told her to go home, to leave the questioning to the police and stay well away from Tom, yet still something compelled her to carry on. 

She parked in the visitor's car park and made her way toward the main building. It looked like every other hospital she'd ever known and she'd long since got over any fear of hospitals, but knowing that Tom was in there somewhere made her uneasy. She hovered indecisive at the entrance.

"This is such a stupid idea" she muttered under her breath, but she took a step forward anyway. She had to understand how Tom could turn on her like that; she had to prove to herself that she had the power now. She advanced slowly toward the reception desk. Behind it sat a harassed looking middle aged woman.

"Um, excuse me?" Holly lent on the desk and gave an awkward smile.

"How can I help you?" the woman replied curtly.

"I'm looking for a patient, Tom Harvey, he's been admitted here"

"Are you family?" Holly thought about it, if she told the receptionist that she was the one who put Tom in hospital then there would be no way she'd get to see him, maybe a little white lie wouldn't hurt… 

"Yes, I'm his…sister" the receptionist didn't seem to pick up on the pause and started tapping away on her computer keyboard.

"Tom Harvey…Ah yes here we are, Mr Thomas Harvey admitted to Dawson Ward." she looked up at Holly who tried to look pleased whilst secretly praying that the receptionist didn't notice how fast her heart was beating.

"Thanks"

"If you take that lift up to the fifth floor and follow the signs you should find it easily" she pointed off to one side and gave a perfunctory smile then went back to her computer screen. Holly reached the lift just as it arrived and stepped straight inside. There were a couple of other people in there with her but she barely noticed them. Her mind had gone blank; her body was running on pure adrenaline. 

The doors opened onto the fifth floor and a long corridor stretched out before her. Holly started slowly along it. With every step she took, the corridor appeared to grow a step longer as though the hospital itself was trying to convince her to give up on her quest. Holly strode resolutely onward trying to work out what she was going to say to Tom once she'd found him. Only one word echoed through her mind: _Why?_

It felt like an eternity before she reached the turning to Dawson Ward. Around a central admin. area bustled various members of staff going about their daily business, no one noticed Holly arrive. She strode purposefully to the patient detail board and scanned it for Tom's name, all the time expecting someone to query who she was, and what she was doing. No one did. It scared Holly that it was so easy for a member of the public to get access to patients. There was a clear lack of security. No wonder nobody ever suspected Tom, at least he was meant to be in A&E. 

Tom was being held in a side room. He had a severely bruised jaw from where Holly had hit him with the ornament; and as he had a head injury he was being kept in for observation. Her intention hadn't been to hurt him, only to fight him off, but she felt little sympathy for his condition knowing what he could have done to her. She didn't have to worry about finding the right room, from her position she could see which room was his. The one guarded by a stout Policeman.

There was no way Holly was going to get past him and part of her breathed a sigh of relief. She stood for a second collecting her thoughts. Tom was in custody, guarded in hospital. He couldn't get at her and he wouldn't be able to ever again. She'd talked it over with the police; Tom was going to be charged with harassment and sent to prison and if he ever got out he would be under a restraining order. She was safe and had to start putting her ordeal behind her.

__

Forget him, go home, and get on with your life. She tried to tell herself, but at the same time she knew that she couldn't just get on with her life without confronting him, without showing herself that she wasn't under his power, she wasn't a victim. It looked like fate had decided matters for her though.

Suddenly she heard a buzzer go off somewhere on the ward; people were shouting and calling for help. The Policeman looked over to see what all the fuss was about and for a moment Holly felt he was staring right at her, then deciding that his prisoner wasn't going anywhere he moved to help the other staff. 

Holly sprung forward without thinking and made her way to Tom's room. Through the small window panel in the door, she could see him sleeping in the bed. Glancing around her to make sure she wasn't being seen she twisted the handle and stepped inside.

Inside the room, the rest of the hospital felt a million miles away. She could barely hear the commotion outside, and that wasn't what she was concentrating on anyway. Asleep in front of her lay her tormentor, looking so peaceful that it was difficult to believe that he was the same person who had attacked her.

Holly stood over him, watching him. His jaw was badly bruised and was swollen grotesquely; yet in is sleeping state he still managed to look peaceful. Too peaceful, Holly thought. Like one of the photographs he'd shown her. The photographs of people who appeared almost dead. Her stomach turned as she thought of the pictures he'd taken of her whilst she was asleep. The feeling built up inside her making it difficult to breathe. How could he lie there so calmly, after everything that he'd done?

She turned back towards the door; there was nothing more that she needed to do there. It was just bringing up more of the memories she wanted to forget. She'd seen that he was incapacitated in hospital, guarded, kept away from her and she was reassured by that. She looked over her shoulder at Tom one last time.

"You don't frighten me, not any more" she said decisively.

Holly opened the door and stepped out making a conscious effort to look inconspicuous. She moved swiftly back through the ward and out of the hospital, leaving the side room door to fall closed behind her.

As the door clicked back into it's frame Tom opened his eyes. He struggled as he sat up in the bed, his painkillers making him slightly dizzy.

__

I never meant to frighten you, Holly, I'm glad I don't frighten you anymore. He thought to himself.

__

I love you.

He slid out of bed, his bare feet slapping against the cold floor as he walked to the door, and opened it a few inches. The guard was still absent from his post and the corridor was all but empty. Returning to his bedside he removed his clothes from the cabinet and slipped them on; then silently left the room. He made it to the stair well without being stopped. Light streamed through the large glass panels that separated the steps from the outside world, making Tom wince as he looked out. Below, in the car park he could just see Holly's familiar figure getting into her car. He pressed himself up against the glass. It pushed back against his bruised jaw, but he didn't care, he was too busy staring at Holly. 

"We'll be together soon Holly, I promise" he whispered through the glass.

Tom longingly watched her drive out of the hospital grounds and out of sight, before continuing on his own way out of the hospital.

~*~

Holly allowed herself to smile for the first time in a long time as she drove home. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her. Mentally she patted herself on the back; going to the hospital had been a good idea after all. Although she was glad that Tom hadn't been awake, seeing him there, just a pathetic little man in a hospital bed proved to her that it really was all over. She could finally get on with her life, and that felt good.

End of Part Two


	3. Part Three

I can only see your face part 3

Part Three

Holly let herself back into her flat and flung her coat and bag on to the sofa as she gazed around the room. It felt different somehow, still not quite as cosy as she'd hoped it would be when she'd moved in but calmer, more peaceful. It was almost as though it had been exorcised of a restless spirit.

"Perhaps if I redecorate…" she mused wandering into her bedroom.

She automatically flicked on the light, rather than drawing the curtains. The unmade bed dominated the room and she could barely see the carpet for all the mess. She shook her head at the piles of clothes, books, and paperwork that were strewn across the floor and grimaced.

"Or perhaps if I just tidy up…"and reluctantly she began to sort out the room.

It took a while before the place looked something approaching tidy, but once it did, Holly stood back proudly. There was only one thing wrong with it: she turned off the artificial light and moved to the window, pulling aside the curtains. For the first time in several weeks, bright sunlight filled the room, washing over her and scaring away the shadows.

~*~

Patrick returned to reception from resus. to see Dan coming out of Charlie's office. At first he was going to ignore him as he usually did and continue with his own business, but Holly not answering his phone call earlier still played on his mind. He made his way toward Dan.

"Dan" he nodded politely. It certainly couldn't be mistaken for a friendly gesture.

"Patrick, what can I do for you?" Dan looked up at him expectantly.

"Arm alright?" he enquired in an effort make that conversation sound as casual as possible. Both men looked down at the sling that cradled Dan's broken arm.

"I'll survive. Is that all? Only I'm on my way to a meeting." He was still feeling rotten from his experience at the hands of Tom, and the last thing he needed was a laboured conversation with Patrick.

"Erm, you heard from Holly yet?" he asked trying not to sound as concerned as he actually was.

"Yeah, called her this morning."

"And she was OK, was she?" Patrick asked casually, trying to hide his irritation about Dan, again, knowing more about what was going on than he did.

"She sounded a bit stressed, but said she was OK." He wasn't going to admit to Patrick that she'd hung up on him.

"Oh. Good" Patrick delivered an awkward 'thanks for the information' smile, and turned to continue on his way. Dan called out after him.

"You could always try calling her yourself Patrick…"

"Yeah. I might. If I get five minutes, some of us are busy down here you know" Dan resisted the urge to enter into an argument about who was busier, and instead nodded diplomatically at Patrick, before leaving the department. 

Patrick sighed inwardly; just talking to Dan got his back up. It was worse now that he had to concede that Dan had tried to rescue Holly. Even if in the end, he didn't make a very good job of it. Now Dan had managed to talk to Holly when he hadn't. Patrick felt that he should be happy that at least one of them had spoken to her, and that she was all right, but something still nagged away at him. Why hadn't she answered his call? She was meant to be at home, resting after her ordeal, she should have been there to answer the telephone. Something wasn't right. He moved across to the pay phones and slipped in his ten pence; after a few rings, it was connected.

"Hello?" came the familiar voice down the phone line.

"Hi, Holly. It's Patrick"

"I think I can recognise your voice by now!"

"I tried calling earlier but got no answer…" he wanted to add that he'd been worried about her, but for some reason the words wouldn't come out.

"I went out, for some fresh air, was there something you wanted?"

"Um, not really I just haven't heard from you since all this Tom business blew up. Thought you might like a shoulder to cry on" He half joked.

"And you'd like to be that shoulder, I suppose?" She responded dryly. Typical of Patrick to try to turn the situation to his own advantage.

"If you insist…" he could picture her rolling her eyes at him, "seriously though, are you OK?" His voice carried his concern to her, and she was touched to her it. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

"I'm getting there" she replied softly, "Thanks for asking".

"Look, I'm due a break now. How about I bring you round some lunch?"

"No, you don't have to do that, I'm all right. Honestly"

"Well I've got to eat, and so have you. Or is the thought of my company that off-putting?"

Holly thought about it, she didn't want him checking up on her particularly. Going over everything that had happened and depressing her again. Although, if there was one person who wouldn't indulge her in feeling sorry for herself it would be Patrick. And she didn't have anything planned for day off, so perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea. 

"OK, if you want" Patrick was glad, if slightly shocked, that Holly had agreed. 

"Right then, I'll be there soon. Oh, pizza all right?"

"Can you make it something else. I don't mind what. See you soon"

"Sure. Bye".

Holly put the phone down, surprised to find herself looking forward to seeing Patrick.

~*~

Tom saw Holly wandering past her window as he neared her flat. She was smiling contentedly and, he thought as he watched her, she looked beautiful. After a moment or two she vanished from his sight and he dared to take a step closer. 

He'd stood outside her house many times before, admiring her from a distance. Each time he'd wanted to go over and knock on her door, to have her invite him in and for them to enjoy a day together, but he never had. She wasn't the sort of girl you would just impose yourself on for a quick fling; she was too good for that. 

Holly deserved respect. 

It was obvious to him that she liked him. She was always so friendly, so willing to chat to him. Most people only wanted him around in his professional capacity. They weren't at all interested in the real him, in his thoughts and feelings. 

Holly was different.

They had so much in common; they would make the perfect couple. And he recognised that someone as special as Holly had to be wooed first, so he'd sent her flowers, and gifts, and written her poetry.

Nothing was too much of an effort to make Holly happy.

He knew that eventually she too would realise how good they would be together, just as he did. Now that day had finally arrived. He'd started to doubt they'd be together when she hit him, but obviously now she'd come to her senses.

He continued his way to her front door, the anticipation of their joyful reunion building up inside him with each step. He started to wish that he'd gone home and got changed. The only clothes he'd had at the hospital were the ones he'd been wearing when he was admitted. Now they were crumpled and he had a few spots of blood on his shirt, but he had gone this far and wasn't going to turn back. Certainly not now that things were falling into place. He raised his hand and knocked politely on her front door, then stood back and waited for her to open it.

Holly strolled to her front door, and opened it wide expecting to see Patrick waiting outside. The last person she expected was to see Tom, unkempt and blood stained, staring back at her from the doorstep.

The old feeling of panic swept through her once more and she froze to the spot. She wanted to slam the door in his face but her arms wouldn't obey her. Instead, they hung limply at her sides like lead weights. Speech evaded her as she stood staring wide eyed at him.

__

This can't be happening, He can't be here. 

Tom tried to smile at the woman he loved, but his disfigured jaw made his expression all the more demonic.

"Hello Holly!" He took a step forward and wrapped his arms around her. Holly felt like the prey of a boa constrictor, helpless, waiting to be devoured. She tried to wriggle away from him, and he loosened his grip slightly, kissing her roughly, on her cheek as he pulled away.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She looked into his eyes and found them empty. Not a hint of remorse for what he'd done. Not a sign of any understanding that it was wrong. She summoned up every ounce of strength inside her to force his arms away from her.

"GET OFF!" she screamed, her voice trembling with anger as much as fear. She pushed at his chest and caught him off guard. He stumbled backwards through the open door.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OUT!" the tears were flowing as she shouted at him, she stepped forward and pushed at him again, loosing all her self control as she vented her feelings on him. He reeled back and smacked into the railing that ran along the out side of her building as she continued to thrash wildly at him, sobbing loudly the whole time. 

What was she doing? Why was she reacting like this? He was trying to be nice to her and this was how she repaid him: by beating him, by humiliating him in the street. He wasn't going to let her get away with treating him like that. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tom saw Patrick pull up in his convertible. He grabbed on to rails behind him and tried to straighten himself up. Now standing he pushed his whole body weight against her and it was her turn to stumble backwards. He pushed at her throat, forcing her to retreat into the house. She pushed back frantically at his arms, but it was no use, he was too strong for her. In the street, Patrick could see what was going on and he leapt from his car trying to reach Holly to help her, but he wasn't fast enough. Tom slammed the door shut behind them, imprisoning her.

Back inside the house, Holly's sobs reduced to little more than whimpers between shallow breaths. Tom stood tall and menacing in front of her, still holding at her neck; firm enough to keep her still but just loose enough to let her breathe. His own breathing was deep as he tried to recover his composure from the struggle. The only other sounds were of Patrick beating at the door, causing the whole frame to shake violently, and shouting at the top of his voice for Tom to open the door; to let go of Holly.

End of Part Three


	4. Part Four

I can only see your face part 4

Part Four

In the street, Patrick repeatedly shoulder barged the door, cursing under his breath as his arm slammed painfully in to the solid wood. Although he didn't want to give up, he knew that he'd never be able to break the door down with brute force. He slumped against the frame, exhausted, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. Patrick knew he'd have to think of a better way of rescuing her, and he'd have to think of it quickly. He remembered his mobile phone in his pocket and fished it out. His large fingers hitting the small buttons clumsily as he hurriedly dialled. Eventually it was connected:

"Hello, I need the police…"

~*~

Tom pushed Holly into her living room, keeping a tight grip on her hair so she couldn't run away from him. Once inside and with the door closed, he flung her onto her sofa and stood over her.

"Why are you acting like this!" he exclaimed. Holly could see the anger flare up in side him, turning his face red. 

"L-l-like what?" she asked quietly, trying not to enrage him further.

"As though you don't want to see me?"

Holly didn't understand. What would make Tom think that she did want to see him? As it was, last time they'd spoken, she'd hospitalised him. Why was he there, he should still be in hospital. She looked at him, confused, too scared to speak.

"You came to the hospital, why would you do that unless you wanted to see me? See; you can't hide your feelings from me Holly. I know you. We're soul mates."

All at once, the awful realisation hit her; it was her own fault that he was there. She'd caused it by visiting him. She began to cry with renewed vigour.

"Holly?" Tom moved closer and sat down beside her, reaching round her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. He stroked her cheek with his other hand, trying to brush away her tears. It made her skin crawl.

"Holly, you don't have to cry anymore, we're together now." She sat, as still as stone, hoping that he would let go of her if she didn't respond to his touch. The moment was interrupted by another loud thump on the front door, as Patrick tried once more to force it open.

Tom pulled away from Holly slightly, and she thought, for a second, she saw a look of anxiety in his face. Another thud; and Tom was on his feet nervously pacing the floor. Holly was relieved that he'd let go of her but getting him agitated didn't seem like a good idea. 

"What", he said through gritted teeth, "is _he_ doing here!?!" He faced Holly expectantly.

"He… I…Well…" Tom lunged at her, his face just inches from her own.

"I asked what he's doing here Holly!"

"I asked him to come…" She trailed off, knowing as she said it that she shouldn't have admitted it.

For what felt like an eternity to Holly, Tom didn't move. He stood hunched over her, staring at her coldly. Eventually he straightened and looked down his nose at her, dismayed.

"You really are just like all the others aren't you?" he spat, "Just another common tease! Did you think you could play us off against each other? Is this how you get your kicks? Well…WELL?"

Holly sunk deeper into the sofa, in an effort to get further away from Tom. She didn't know what to say to him; his mood changed from one minute to the next. She had no way of predicting how he would react. She knew that he was prone to violence and realised that she'd have to try to placate him. 

"No…no Tom, of course not. I wouldn't do that. Patrick just came round for lunch; that's all. Honestly Tom". Tom seemed to relax a little but didn't look completely convinced.

"You can't have both of us Holly. It's not fair, on anyone"

"I don't want both of you" Holly replied quietly, baffled by the irony of Tom talking about fairness.

"Then you'll have to tell him." Tom said decisively.

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Patrick to leave. Tell him that you've chosen me. That you don't love him, that you don't want him. That you want me!" Holly looked up at him, even the thought of saying it made her feel ill, but at least if she did it might buy her some time. It might even give her a chance to escape.

"Well come on then" Tom held out his hand. Reluctantly she took it and hoisted her self off the sofa.

~*~

After calling the police, Patrick composed himself enough for a repeated attack on the front door. It made him feel slightly better to be actually doing something, no matter how futile it may be. As he squared up for a third charge he saw two police cars pull up. 

"Here come the cavalry" he muttered. He left the door and walked down the steps in front of Holly's building out into the street.

"You in charge?" Patrick asked the most senior looking officer. 

"Yes. I'm Chief Inspector Gellar, you must be Mr Spiller?"

"It's Dr Spiller, actually" The police officer nodded absently.

"Right, so could you tell me exactly what has been happening here please?" Patrick had already explained everything over the telephone and was irritated at having to waste time going through it again.

"Tom Harvey, who your lot are supposed to have in custody, has trapped Holly in there against her will. When I got here they were fighting in the street, but they've been locked inside for a while now."

Gellar glanced down at some papers in his hands.

"That's Dr Holly Miles, is it?" Patrick nodded; frustrated at the lack of action the police were taking. Didn't they ever talk to each other? Didn't they know what Tom was capable of? Yet, they were all still standing around like bloody idiots.

"Inspector, I don't think you understand the seriousness of this situation. Tom Harvey is a maniac. He's been stalking her for months, he's already tried to attack her once…"

"I assure you Dr Spiller, we take hostage situations very seriously" Patrick was shocked to here it described as a 'hostage situation'. It made the whole thing sound even worse, but all the more imperative that something be done to get Holly out of there safely. 

"So what exactly are you going to do about it?" Patrick manoeuvred himself in the way of the inspector so he couldn't avoid giving an answer.

"Please Dr Spiller, if you could just let us get on with our job…"

"If you had done your job in the first place, none of this would be happening now!"

"I understand your distress…"

"My distress? My… Holly is trapped in there with a psychopath. And you're doing nothing to get her out" Gellar took a deep breath trying to avoid a confrontation with Patrick in the middle of an already very sensitive case.

"We have armed officers taking positions in the area, and as soon as they're set up I'll begin negotiations with Mr Harvey. So if you'd just wait with one of the officers over there," he pointed further down the street, "then we'll get this situation sorted as soon as possible." Patrick wasn't used to being spoken to in such a manner. Usually it was him who told people to go away and let him get on with his job.

"I'm going nowhere" Patrick replied, but moved out of Gellar's way. He looked around at the surrounding buildings trying to see where the armed officers were, but they were too well hidden. He couldn't believe that things had escalated so far out of control so quickly. The police were the best people to deal with it, he knew that, but he felt so useless. Everything seemed to be taking so long and all the time Tom could be doing anything to Holly. He wanted to get in there and have it out with Tom himself. He wanted to protect Holly.

All of a sudden, the front door opened, revealing Holly standing there. It was clear from her expression that she was scared stiff. 

"Holly!" Patrick shouted as he rushed forward again; Gellar caught him by the arm before he got very far.

Holly strained to see past the railings and down into the street, but she couldn't move far. Tom had hold of her arm and was twisting it behind her back in a vice like grip, preventing her from escaping. Tom himself stayed back in the shadows, out of view. He didn't know the police were there but he knew that Patrick would not try to attack him if Holly was in the way. Holly saw the panda cars all around the front of the building and didn't know what to do. Any relief she felt from seeing them was short lived when she realised that Tom was likely to go crazy when he worked out that he was trapped. She tried to stay inside the doorway, blocking Tom's view of the road.

Gellar leaned toward Patrick.

"This is our chance. Try to lure Harvey out in to the open, but don't get too close to him, we want a clear shot." Patrick nodded. Then it hit him just what Gellar had said.

"You're going to shoot him?" Usually Patrick would have protested that it was unnecessary to go to such extreme lengths. As a doctor, the thought of shooting anyone was abhorrent to him, but he realised as he stood there watching Holly that the sooner this was over the better. 

His heart thumped in his chest as he climbed the steps to the front door. As he came closer to Holly he could clearly see the agony etched on her tear streaked face, and it hurt him just as deeply to see her in pain. She looked pleadingly at him to help her. He tried to communicate a reassuring expression back to her.

"Holly. Are you all right?" He knew it sounded pathetic, but what more could he say?

"Yes", she replied, although her eyes told a different story.

"Patrick, I have to tell you something" He looked at her, trying to understand what was going on, how she'd managed to get to the front door but wasn't leaving the building.

"What?"

"I have to tell you that I don't love you. I love Tom" She tried to keep her voice level, but Patrick could see by her expression that she didn't mean it.

"What? I don't understand" 

"_Tom_ wants me to make it clear to you" she tried to gesture with a small movement of her head that Tom was standing right behind her. Patrick understood, and if Tom was just inside the doorway, it shouldn't be too hard to get him to show himself. His mind raced frantically for a way of bringing Tom out in to the open.

"So you love Tom?"

"Yes" she replied flatly.

"Then I suppose I should give up chasing you…" Holly looked at him blankly. He tried to signal to her to play along.

"Eh?" Holly hesitated. Tom strengthened his grip on her.

"Y-y-yes. Give up, Patrick" she said trying not to scream out in pain.

"But Tom could never love you as much as I do, how do I know that he'll look after you? How do I know that he wouldn't hurt you" Tom listened from behind Holly. How could Patrick doubt that his feelings for Holly were real?

"I need _him_ to tell me that he loves you, before I give up on you" Patrick said meaningfully. Holly caught on; she turned round towards Tom.

"He won't believe me, he wants to speak to you" she reiterated. Tom grunted with annoyance, and started to push her forward.

"Movement from inside the house, looks like he's coming out, over" buzzed Gellar's radio.

"As soon as you get a clear shot, take it" he responded.

Tom pushed Holly forcefully through the door so they were both standing just outside the house. He still had his grip on her arm although it was no longer twisted behind her back. On seeing Tom so brutally holding Holly, Patrick instinctively bolted forward to help her.

From across the street a shot rang out, causing it's victim to drop heavily to the ground. 

End of Part Four


	5. Part Five - The End

I can only see your face part 5

Part Five

The world seemed to go into slow motion for Holly as the noise of the bullet shattered the relative peace of the street. Even so, she barely had time to realise that the shot was meant for Tom, and to fling herself forcefully to the ground. As she fell, she could see Patrick coming toward her, his arms outstretched, his expression a curious mix of anger and pain. She could tell he was heading directly into the line of fire and screamed out for him to stop. Automatically she closed her eyes to protect herself from what she felt sure she would see.

When she finally opened them, she saw both Tom and Patrick lying crumpled on the paving slabs beside her. 

"Nooooooooo!" she wailed, the sound coming from deep inside her and resonating through her whole body. Tears blurred her vision as she looked down at Patrick. She could see the distinct colour of blood soaking through the shoulder of his pale shirt. She crawled across the rough ground; her knuckles scrapping against its surface, but that pain was nothing compared to how she already felt.

Memories of her medical training came back to her, but they were so interspersed with grief and guilt that they were muddled and useless. Only one thought had any clarity to it:

__

All this is my fault, I caused all this, Patrick was trying to save me, and now he's…he's…

Holly looked down at him, barely daring to believe her own eyes as Patrick rolled awkwardly over and struggled to sit up. Instinctively he pulled his arm across his body and grabbed at the wound. Holly knelt on the cold ground and stared at him as though he weren't real, trembling visibly.

From all around her Holly could hear voices and hurried scuffling as the police called an ambulance. A few of the officers were making their way up the steps to try to help. They could see that Patrick wasn't badly injured so moved over to see to Tom. 

"That hurt" Patrick said, still too dazed by the events to think of anything more profound to say. The sound of his voice ripped though Holly's own thoughts and at last, she truly believed that he was all right. She lent forward, wrapping her arms around him in a warm hug, and found that she didn't want to let go. Patrick gritted his teeth against the pain in his arm, having her hold him again felt so good that not even his injury could spoil it. For a few seconds neither of them moved. Eventually Holly collected herself enough to pull slowly away from him.

"I thought you were… I thought…" Patrick nodded, for a split second he had thought so too.

"It's just a flesh wound" He moved his hand slightly to give her a better look. She tenderly moved the shirt material out of the way and saw a deep graze underneath. Holly pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and Patrick winced as she pressed it down on his shoulder to stem the bleeding. He let her hold it there briefly before taking hold of it himself. 

As they sat there, their attention was drawn by the commotion around Tom. Holly got unsteadily to her feet and helped Patrick to follow, keeping one arm around his waist to support him. Two Policemen were knelt on the ground beside Tom giving him heart massage, next to them Gellar stood keeping watch for the ambulance.

"How is he?" Holly asked, quietly dreading the response, she had never meant for things to get this far, and didn't want Tom's death on her conscious. Gellar looked down at his colleagues; one of them shrugged. Gellar didn't need to relay the message, they could both clearly see the entry wound in Tom's chest, only an inch or two away from his heart. It would be touch and go if the ambulance arrived in time. Holly held more tightly onto Patrick, turning away so she couldn't see Tom anymore. 

In the distance, the doctors heard the familiar sound of an ambulance siren.

"If he dies I'll never forgive myself, Patrick" Holly almost whispered to him.

"You can't blame yourself, the man was a nutter!" he replied, gently stroking her hair as he spoke.

"That doesn't mean he deserved this!" Patrick could feel her sobbing as she rested her head on his chest.

Patrick watched as Josh and Fin raced past him and went to tend to Tom's limp body.

"I'm sure they'll do everything they can to save him, but whatever happens Holly, none of this is your fault. D'you understand?" 

"But if I hadn't gone to the hospital, he wouldn't have come after me, and none of this would've happened…"

"What do you mean you went to the hospital?" Patrick asked confused. Holly looked up at him like a small child afraid of being told off.

"I went to see him this morning, I wanted to try to put all this behind me, I thought if I saw him… I … I don't know what I thought, Patrick. I'm sorry." Tears overtook her again, and Patrick pulled her back to his chest, tenderly kissing her hair.

He couldn't see why she would want to see Tom, but it wasn't the right time to go into that. She needed to be reassured, not berated. Moreover, Patrick couldn't help feeling that if he'd made more of an effort to look after her, been more of a support in the first place, she wouldn't have got such a silly notion into her head.

"Ssshh, Holly. You don't have to apologise to me, it's not your fault"

"But you got injured…"

"I'll be all right. At least you're safe now" and she had to admit that wrapped up in Patrick's arms she felt safe for the first time in months.

Patrick watched as the paramedics lifted Tom and took him to the ambulance. Patrick was surprised by how little he felt toward the man. He wasn't wishing him dead; if anything, he was hoping the opposite, just to spare Holly from tormenting herself over it for the rest of her life. He gave Holly a reassuring squeeze.

"I'd better get my arm seen to…" Patrick said, not wanting to let go of her but becoming more and more aware of a light-headed feeling as he continued to bleed. Reluctantly she let go of him; reluctantly he started to walk away. 

Fin bounded up the steps to help him.

"How's Tom?" Patrick asked, Holly moved forward to hear his answer.

"Our Mr Harvey is in for a long spell in ITU. Should keep him out of trouble until they find somewhere to lock him up!"

Holly felt herself breathe a huge sigh of relief. It was all over. She hadn't been the cause of any deaths, Tom physically couldn't come after her, and maybe one day she could put it all behind her. One day. Until then there was one thing that still nagged away at her, she called out to Patrick:

"What you said just now, before Tom came out of the house…" he nodded, "Did you mean any of that or was it all for Tom's benefit, to goad him out in to the open?" She looked at him expectantly, hoping that he'd meant it when he'd said: 'No one could love you more than I do' 

Patrick looked back at her and allowed himself a small smile.

"You know me Holly, I never say anything I don't mean"

Slowly she walked over to him and stood facing him. He cupped his hand gently around her face, giving her time to pull away if she wanted to. She didn't pull away, Patrick kissed her, and she kissed back.

"I love you Dr Miles," he said so softly that only she could hear him.

"And I love you, Dr Spiller". 

The End


End file.
